I can't believe that this happened. x_X first off I had to come in at Subway an hour early...no prob really that's not that bad, at least it's 10 and not 8 or 9 because that would mean I'd have to be out of the house at 6-7:30 AM.

Also my knee started to act up again. I blame the accident on Monday where my knee made contact with a guy's shin at Karate. So of course I was limping, then about an hour before I was scheduled to leave I was asked to stay another hour because all the customers set us behind schedule and cleaned off our stock. so yeah, standing on my knee all day is not fun. But that isn't that bad, because usually if it happens (Sometimes after Karate) it goes away after awhile. The really bad thing is just that this is band camp week, and miraculously, Day of the Dumbass and Day of the Ditz happened at the exact same time!


Day of the Dumbass and Day of the Ditz are days that happen on certain parts of the year where just about every subway customer is either incredibly brain-farty or not all there. Unfortunately on top of band camp kids....this clearly wasn't fun.

But Herbal you say, customers can't be that bad, can they? Well you would be surprised. I don't mind most of our customers at Subway, but sometimes, being in proximity of a college campus seems to make people SO. DUMB you wouldn't believe it.

Frequently we get a lotta people who're running on maybe three or four hours of sleep so they aren't always there, especially in the morning where stuff like this happens:

Person: "I'll have a *garbled mass of words*"
Me: Excuse me?
Person: "Sandwich."
Me: But what kind of sandwich?"
Person: "Your three sixty nine one."
(Note that at the time, "The three sixty nine one" could refer to at least four or five items on the menu. >.<

Person: uuuuuuggggghhh....muuuuuuuu,....fooooo......looooooo......


But usually they stop around 10-11 AM. Not on a Day of the Ditz where they're like that all the time. Even the high school kids!

And on a Day of the Dumbass, that's just when everyone brainfarts or a bunch of stupid people come to Subway. So naturally stuff like this happens....


Person: "Do you have Pizzas?"
Me: "No, you'll have to go over there for that."
Person: "I'll have a pepperoni and sausage pizza."
Me: "We don't have those."
Person: Yeah oyu do you're Subway!"
Me: "What did I just say?"

Person: "Hey where are the chips?"
Me: "Right there."
Person: "Where?" *Looking at the soda fountain*
Me: "No they're right there next to you."
Person: "In here?!" *opens the cooler* I don't see any chips!"
Me: "They're right there behind you." *I am now literally pointing at the chips with my long arm*
Person: Right there? *looks back at the soda fountain again*
everyone else in line: *facepalm*
Me: *Walks out, around to the front and literally stands RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE CHIPS* "Here."


And other such questions like:
"How much is the five dollar footlong without tax?"
"Can I get a Blackforest ham with Roast beef instead of the ham?"
"Do you guys have beer? The campus bar's closed."
"Can I get a veggie delite with no veggies?"

And these weren't just individual customers...The chips and the pizza incidents happened at least four times each in just one hour.


So in general, we were losing our patience with the customers who were just asking stupid questions or just gazing off into space. The manager actually whispered over to us that we should start cracking down on the spacers. It was bothering the woman who had worked here for decades. our patience had to be short.

Also, the band camp kids aren't really looking too hot to the janitors. Yesterday, Someone mistook a comfy chair for a urinal so of course, the janitors came over to clean up what they thought was another soda spill only to find that it was soaked in pee. Unlike last year where the kids had diplomatic immunity unless they weren't caught in the act, the band camp manager rounded them up and said if someone didn't admit to peeing in the chair, everyone would start losing their debit cards issued to them for use during the week. It was then that we found that someone had flushed a bunch of paper towels down the toilet so now the toilets were flooding....


The stupidest thieves ever...
I notice a group of Band campers are getting food together. Unfortunately some kids are trying to steal from us....now keep in mind that the chip rack is right in front of our faces. So rather than confront them and say "You going to pay for those?" and give them a chance to run, I decided to be a little cruel to them. (Especially since they were dumb enough to not run when they thought they were ahead)

Me: Your total comes to $25.65.
Customer: WTF for five six inches?!
Me: Yes, that's $15 for the sandwiches, and $10 for the bags of chips those two stuffed in that backpack.

Why do people try and steal stuff when they're right in front of me?


The Subway card Debacle
This really isn't so much a stupid customer but a sucky realization that not all stores have the same policies. >.< Id be annoyed too if I were this guy....

Person: "I had a meal deal and...oh shoot I have no subway card can I get one and start one here?"
Me: "Okay uh lemme find one...now how much do you wanna put on this card?"
Person: *Gives he his credit card so I run it through to pay for the food* I just want to get points on it.
Me: "We don't do that here - our cards are cash cards."
Person: But in Florida we have points on our subway cards...can I put $5 on this then?
Me: "YEs, $5."
Person: "DId you run my credit card through?"
Me: "Yes, I ran it through."
Person: "Then do I need to sign anything?"
Me: "No, you don't need to because you presented your ID."
Person: "Did you run my credit card through?"
Me: "Yes." (He seriously asked twice.) "Do you need a copy of the receipt?"
Person: "I would not. have a nice day." *Activating a $5 cash card*

Then 40 minutes and about 70 credit card receipts later...the guy cuts to the front of the line, says he didn't get a receipt (Despite not saying he wanted one...) and then asked me to reprint it for him. There's literally a line of 40 people behind him and I now have to hold the line up so I can dig out his receipt to find the invoice number so I could reprint it.


The yelling cycle
I have to wonder if Band Camp or just the high school music in general is responsible for this, but we get a lot of yellers during Band Camp week. It more or less becomes a neverending cycle of yelling to be heard...
-Background noise drowns out a kid.
-You speak louder to talk to them.
-everyone else speaks louder so they can be heard over you and your friend yelling.
-The Subway workers have to yell so THEY Can be heard over the hollering.
-Background noise drowns out a kid, who then starts yelling to talk to their friend....


Signs to tell that the Subway is open
Usually, it's best to assume subway is open if:
-It's 11:30 AM.
-There are people in line.
-There are people around eating food from Subway.
-there is a line of at least 10 people.
-There are people being served and paying.


The drain in the soda fountain exists for a reason!
The Sprite ran out of Syrup so it was just soda water. Of course I then inform the manager that it's out so she can fix it. Then I turn around...the person who informed me to the lack of syrup is literally dumping the soda water all over the floor in the middle of the lunch rush!

And this has happened before... Sometimes it's not just soda water but regular soda becasue the guy wanted Root Beer but hit the coke.

Large groups of people that switch places.
Really I wish people wouldn't do this. You wouldn't think it's annoying, but when you don't make the sandwiches, then they start switching places, you have to slow the line down so you can figure out whose who. It's like playing that game where a person shows a ball under a cup, then starts moving them around and you have to guess which identical cup the ball is under. If we catch them in the act, then we make a big deal out of switching their sandwiches around so we don't have to say "Is this your sandwich?!"


"Excuse me! I know you're talking to a customer but I have a question..."
Dude I'm trying to ring a customer up. Can't this wait at least three seconds for me to say "Your total is $5.34"? And please don't interrupt me ringing up a difficult customer fumbling with their credit card to ask if we're open.


Sign Blindess
This is a very common phenomena that can occur in almost everyone. Even I admit to not looking around and seeing a sign that has the answer to my question. (eg "Which ones are the $5 footlongs?", "What time do you close?") This can in fact happen when said sign is actually right in front of your face. Most people are actually rather nice about it though, since I know that not everyone would look to the corner of the sandwich vein to see the sign that said what kind of cheeses they have. And I've noticed that people read faster than I talk so I just point to the sign. That and I don't wind up saying something they can't hear over the screaming high-schoolers or because I spoke too fast.



Thank you for reading this all.