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deviation in storage by diamondwhitewolf

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You know that belief, that people can turn into animals during a full moon? Yeah, that exists. sadly they don't get to change species - they just change into total freaking idiots. 

*Person is sitting rigt by the door and vaping as people walk in*
"Sir, can you please do that outside?"
"I'm not doing anything wrong."
"You're bothering our customers."
"I'm not doing anything wrong."
"You're sitting by the door and blowing smoke at them. The entire building smells like maple."
"I'm not smoking I'm VAPING!!"
"Sir, you have to do that outside."
"Vaping is not smoking."
"Yes it is." 


"How do I work the soda fountain?"
"...Press the button."
"It's not in my cup."
"...you have to put the cup UNDER the spigot to get soda in."
:iconheaddeskplz: 


"Provolone, Pepperjack, or White american cheese?"
"Cheese."
"What kind of cheese?"
"Cheese."
"Provolone, Pepperjack, or White American?"
"Cheese."
"Sir, we have multiple kinds."
"I said cheese."
"Do you want this?"
"No I want cheese."
"...do you want THIS?"
"No I want cheese."
"Do you want this?"
"Yes, cheese."


"What kind of sandwich would you like?"
"Six inch."
"What kind of bread?"
"Wheat."
"What kind of sandwich?"
"Six inch."
"...what kind of meat?"
"Six inch."
"What am I putting on the sandwich?"
"Six inch."
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!


"Is this promotion going on? The six inch for $3?"
"Did the Avs play last night?"
"I don't know."
"Then it's probably not going on. Is it also after 3 PM?" [hint: It's not.]
"No."
"Then the deal is not going on."


"Can I pay for this here?"
"No, you have to pay for that over in the convenience store."


*Customer stands in line for 10 minutes*
"Sir, can I help you?"
"Oh, I don't know what I want."


"I can't fit the sandwich in my mouth."
[Maybe you should have thought of that before you ordered a double meat meatball sub with EVERYTHING on it?!?] 


"Why's it so expensive?"
[Because you ordered a footlong steak and bacon, then added avocado."


"This sub is messy."
[you ordered 4 sauces on it. -_-]


"Wait, does that cookie have nuts in it?"
"The Peanut Butter cookie has nuts in it."
"Oh, someone I know is allergic to nuts. Can I still give them another cookie?"
"They're packed in a facility that also uses nuts."


"What kind of sandwich can I make for you?"
"Chicken."
"Which kind?"
"Chicken."
"Which kind of chicken? We have four kinds. Chicken breast, chicken bacon ranch, chicken teriyaki, buffalo chicken. Which one do you want?"
"A Chicken Sandwich." 


"You didn't take my coupon."
"I did not know you had one, do you have it with you?"
"No."
"Then we can't take it."


"Your Cherry Coke is broken."
*Checks* "It looks fine to me, what's the problem?"
"It doesn't taste like Cherry Coke. *presses the button*
"...that's the Diet Coke."


"What kind of sandwich did you order?"
"chips and a drink."
"With what kind of sandwich?"
"Footlong."
"What's the sandwich?"
"Meal deal." 


"What kind of sandwich did you order?"
"I can't remember." 
[oh wow. You cannot remember what you just ordered.]


"I just want a cookie."
"That'll be $0.60."
*hands me a $100*
:iconangryfaceplz:


Bonus complaint:
Dear big-ass truck... why on earth are you in college? College requires a LOT of reading - and judging by the fact that you keep parking in the "Compact car" space you obviously can't read. 
Savings account: This is primarily made to save money on teh side - in fact you will earn a bit of money. The downside of this is that you can't use this money for anything like a check. That's what the checking account (which gives no interest at all) is for.

However I love how the savings account have absolutely junk interest rates - it's a "high" interest rate when you get 0.75% interest.

Note that when you take out a loan... you're expected to pay interest rates back at 10%, and that's actually a LOW interest rate.

Gotta love banking logic, huh?
1. The mad matchmaker.
This person believes their shipping is the "One true pairing". Woe be to anyone else who dares think of anything else - or even if they stick to a canonical pairing that violates their "OTP". Expect this fan to constantly crash fanfictions and downvote them or insult the author because "They love this character better!". Also, everyone HAS to have a love interest of some kind - Nobody should be without some kind of a romantic interest! Aromantic people do not exist - because loners are FREAKS!!

Seen on: Fanfiction.net. Seriously.... if something has a certain ship pair, then you can expect people to downvote it or give negative reviews just on basis of the ship. If you dare ship a fan character with a canon character, expect hatred for "Derailing their ship". If a canon love interest appears, then expect people to order their death because they prefer their own headcanon.

2. The Canoneer
This person does not simply comprehend the concept of "Alternate fanon" or even "We know this is non canon... we're just trying to have fun." They will cosntantly attempt to quash any and all debates, no matter how friendly they are, with canon. They will constantly go about on fanfictions, even ones that are acknowledging that they're non-canon or "Just for fun" fan art and constantly talk about how it violates canon. Bonus points or when it is the headcanoneer - because they will always talk about their own "headcanon". A similar derivative is the fanoneer - someone who constantly pushes around commonly accepted fan theories as "canon".

Seen in: The My little Pony fandom. Alongside monomaniacs, this is the kind of fan that most people know of. A lot of bronies seem to have a problem separating canon from fanon - which can lead to a newcomer looking for information about characters who actually don't really exist in the show (at least, not as a background character) or for events that never actually happened *cough*90% of everything about Fan Service/Derpy Hooves*cough*. They also tend to assume that everybody is in on their little "headcanon" and fandom jokes that when a newcomer is (understandably) confused, get pissed off and say "I'M NOT GONNA EXPLAIN IT TO YOU!!! LOOK IT UP YOU LAZY DOOFUS!".

3. The anti-fan
The anti-fan goes around bashing everything with a fanbase and constantly uses the fanbase as proof of why something is bad. This makes one wonder as to why on earth a hostile fanbase is supposed to hamper your enjoyment of something - after all, it's not like every single video game is multiplayer nowadays, is it? And it's not like some games WITH a multiplayer mode such as Dark Souls can allow you to completely ignore the shitty fanbase entirely so literally, the only reason you ahve for the fanbase ruining something is YOU ALLOWING THEM TO DO IT. If you call them out on this logic, they will never EVER consider what you say because they just cannot comprehend that it could possibly be their fault for letting the fan of a work where interaction with them is not required ruin it. This may be more justified in say, multiplayer games where you have to interact with the community.

Seen in: Anime and manga communities, video games, and this very site especially. Look how many users go around talking about how the crazed fans "ruined" something from them, and clearly, the creators of something should be in control of their fans... except guess what? It's not their job to "control their fans"... it's your job to ignore the idiots you meet, especially since you're actively SEARCHING for these fans. It's not like a single player game (Especially one with social features that're easily turned off) will actively try and force you to have to speak to these people. So... remind me again how these guys are "Destroying" it? You're letting them destroy it FOR YOU. It's not the fans' fault something was "ruined". It's YOURS.

4. The Talk show Radio Host
This fan does NOTHING but whine and whine. And whine and whine. And boy do they ever whine. All they do is whine. They hate everything - they hate the direction it was taken, they hate the direction of everything, they hate the fans, no matter what they will always find osmething to complain about.
They will also not notice the fact that apparently, for however much they hate this fandom, clearly something is being done correctly - because after all, they're still here. Their behaviour is just like the talk radio hosts who do nothing but bitch about their country yet they haven't moved out yet.

Seen in: Every. Single. Online game ever. If I were running an online game, I wouldn't try and get suggestions from people on the forums - I'd try and find a way to communicate with people who're actually PLAYING the game instead of sitting on the forums bitching.

5. The Fandom Police
Ooooooh no, now you've done it. You've said something that has brought about the fandom police. Did you just dare break an unwritten rule and say, point out an MMORPG with mechanics similar to WoW? Ooooh no... here come the Fandom Police. They're here to wreck you up and chase you out with knives and pitchforks. You really shouldn't have done that - now you will be put in a "Fandom prison".

Seen in: Any large fandom will inevitably have a group of people who try to act as the "Fandom Police". Especially in this age where SJWs are on the loose.

6. The Bowdlerizers
These guys apparently don't share the sentiment of "creative freedom" and "Creators choice" - they are literally the full circle of the moral guardians of the 20th century. What do these guys want to do? hijack the creative process and make the author share their values, even if the author simply doesn't care. Sometimes an author may do something that's problematic - even though they may clearly showcase the villains do something that we're not supposed to sympathize with them, or have a hero do something questionable to make you question whether or not they are a hero, the bowdlerizers don't care - all they care about is THAT you did it. Dare to say something that will be taken as ableist when you want it to be taken that way? Then you are an ableist bastard. Decide to have mostly male characters? Then you must be sexist because there aren't enough women. Have a story about romance? How dare you - you should make a gay character to showcase that that can be "normal" too! Expect these guys to say, redraw your cahracters as overweight or different ethnicities - because clearly, you shouldn't be allowed to draw them that way because you want to... no, you have to make sure everything is "diverse" and politically correct. Golly, where have we seen this before? Oh yeah... OUR parents demanded to hijack the creative process... and THEIR parents did the exact same thing because they thought what they were reading and listening to was absolute trash.

Seen on: Tumblr.

7. The mad Literary critic
Did you intend to create something that has no purpose but to entertain, and you weren't trying to make some kind of social commentary? Don't worry - The Mad Literary Critic is here to inject a meaning for you! Did you describe the curtains as being red? Clearly it must mean something. Do you have a plot written about a character having a disorder and trying to deal with it? Then you wrote an ableist message. Did you not write any female characters in major roles? Then you are clearly misogynistic. Did you not acknowledge the "race" of your human characters? RACIST!!! Does a character seem to care about another character who has the same sex? Then they are gay. Do they hang out with mostly characters of the same sex? They are SO gay. The Mad Literary Critic will always try and prove themselves to be smart by injecting metaphors into places where they weren't, interpreting everything the way they like it - regardless of whether or not the creator(s) intended it to be anything. The idea of simply sitting back and enjoying the ride does not apply to these people.

Seen in: It's such a broad thing, I can't really give a case example, can I?

8. The Elitist
How dare you call yourself a fan of something if you don't enjoy it the same way as they do?!? GET OUT OF MY FANDOM! Wait, you dare to be younger than your mid 20s and are wanting to seek membership in this fandom? GET OUT YOU KIDDIE! You're not a true fan because you weren't there from the beginning! You can't call yourself a member of this fandom if you're not EXACTLY like me!

Seen in: Fucking. Video. Games.
Seriously - this is the only media which is actively trying to push potential new fans away. Look at all the images of "Wow, look how stupid these kids are for not immediately figuring out how to play Super Metroid". Gee, you'd think people would be glad that these kids are taking an interest in something that's older than them. They can't immediately figure it out (Which, admit it, you didn't either... if we had internet in the 1990s like we did today, YOU would be on there asking how you got past something.) and everyone just makes fun of them. Yeah, can you imagine if game guides acted like you guys? You look up how to get past a certain Guide-Bait level and it just mocks you for not figuring it out yourself.
And naturally, you're "not a true fan" if you're not in your 20s. Because you weren't there from the "Beginning" (psst - none of these guys were either. Unless you played tennis for two in its original format, you weren't "there from the beginning".) You're just a stupid kiddie. Maybe video games do deserve to "die" since gamers are actively trying to chase potential new fans away - I mean, hello guys! Political parties didn't grow because they scared away potential members, and there wouldn't be bookstores still if they tried to make anyone who dared buy a romance novel feel exiled.

9. King Customer
King Customer has been a longtime fan of this area. Naturally they believe that all decisions should be run by them first. Times change, their interests change, and naturally you can expect King Customer to keep demanding more and more like they know what's best for the company.

Seen in So many things... but holy hell do video games get these guys a LOT. They also have a cousin down there.
|
V

10. The demanding periphery
You're not part of the target demographic - and when something made for the target demographic makes a change to appeal to them more, expect the periphery to be upset as hell.

Seen in: This very site shows examples of people saying "Wow, everything on the disney Channel and Nickelodeon sucks these days". The people in question are usually in the mid teens or twenties, and have long since departed the target demographic and have hit the "Peripheries". You're not the prime target anymore guys - it's like if I as a ten year old looked at Nick Jr. and thought "Ugh, this is all trash." I know that "it's not made for you" isn't a free pass from criticism, but you kind of have to consider that you're not the one who has everything marketed to you.

11. The monomaniac
NOTHING exists outside of this fandom for this person. Expect them to only look at something as long as it has something related to that fandom.

Seen in: I know I've picked a lot on bronies, but come on, grant me this one please? This is one reason that a lot of people hated My Little Pony during 2010-2012. Because they would get image macros and post them everywhere. People would get into it, and quickly make it all they ever do. People would abandon their account(s) and create a new one with their pony name (which they only use for pony accounts), people created a social media site JUST for bronies, people would flood image macros, people would flood threads with pony things, conversations would be derailed so that they could talk about ponies, people would constantly try and introduce everyone to the show (especially if they said "no"), people would constantly thrust that stuff down all of our throats.

12. The Stealth Marketers
Admit it - even though you do nothing but dump on this thing, deep down... you secretly enjoy it. You don't enjoy it because you legitimately love it... you enjoy it because you love to hate it. And because of this, you spread the word about it... and thanks to you, you've created the very thing you hate into a monstrosity. Most people, under normal circumstances, would have never heard of this thing... but because you enjoy using your desire to mock something that you hate so much, you've exposed a torrent of people to this work - and in fact, opinions difer so you may have just earned them a new customer. I call this "Briar Patch Marketing". And before you say that doesn't work... you can't argue with results.

Seen in: Twilight, anything Michael Bay does, Justin Bieber, Jersey Shore, 50 Shades of Grey, Call of Duty. I know what you're syaing... those fans are all stupid, aren't they? Well, I consider the fandoms for things like Twilight to be the people who talk about it period. IF you don't like something? Don't talk about it. Don't share it. Don't let others know about it.

13. The sheep
These guys have absolutely no free will of their own. They never do any research, they just buy what someone tells them to. They're like those guys at my job who ask "What're your specials?" or "What's that thing I saw on TV?" without looking over the damn menu.

Seen on: The Escapist boards, Pewdiepie's channel, TotalBiscuit's channel.
THere's a reason I call the Escapist boards "The Yahtzee Pasture" and the "Cynical legion" the "flock". These guys are utter suckers - they buy whatever Yahtzee or TotalBiscuit tells them to. I bet Yahtzee or TotalBiscuit can pretend to be scientologists, and suddenly these guys would convert to Scientology or admit they were always scientologists.
I mentioned this in another thread - what I find kind of intriguing is how many people experience UFOs, Ghosts, phantom stuff etc are usually by themselves, and it's often at night.

Now, I know the obvious reason ("Because they're bored, want attention, and don't want to be disproven by claiming they were abducted by aliens in public.") but let's think of a few other reasons besides the most obvious one: Why do these only happen to individuals, and occasionally someone else who is close to them?
www.businessinsider.com/conser…

Seriously people? Well I hope you enjoy sticking it to the man when you're paying to replace your engine that you've wrecked or later on when your grandkids have to walk out looking like this
:iconthepyroplz:

"Hey when I was a kid we didn't have to wear hazmat suits to go outside - that damn socialist obama put all sorts of environmental regulations in so we showed him by destroying the planet."
Digitalpotato:

If you receive an Email asking if you'd like to beta-test an art-gallery website, DO NOT OPEN IT. The link they provide is probably WORSE than any shock-site you can imagine. My eyes have probably suffered steam-burns worse than the time I fell for that kind of trick.


I feel SO stupid...I should probably make those steam-burns worse by playing Wind Waker or Katamari Damacy... >.<



In other words, writing workshop's still up.

1.Artantil (Done)
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  • Mood: Peaceful
  • Listening to: Bump of Chicken / Bleach Theme
  • Reading: Nothing / Dragon Champion
  • Watching: Pirates of the Caribbean / Medical Incredible
  • Playing: Gmod / Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth
  • Eating: Hamburgers / Orange Mints
  • Drinking: Chocolate Shake / Coke

deviantID

HerbalDrink
I dunno.
Artist
United States
Current Residence: Vanilla Valley Colorado
Favourite genre of music: A lot except Gospel and (c)Rap.
Favourite photographer: Timmywheeler
Favourite style of art: Fantasy, Sprites
Operating System: Windows XP
MP3 player of choice: iPod Nanos
Shell of choice: Err...Turtle/Kappa shell?
Wallpaper of choice: Guild Wars: Demon-posessed Gwen.
Skin of choice: Bronze Dragon Scales
Favourite cartoon character: Baby Bonnie Hood
Personal Quote: Plotholes can explain a LOT of things.
Interests

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:iconbdk25pro:
bdk25pro Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
HerbalDrink, do you do other writings like fantasy?
Reply
:iconherbaldrink:
HerbalDrink Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2014
Yep!
Reply
:iconbdk25pro:
bdk25pro Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
plse
i really need some ideas!
Reply
:iconherbaldrink:
HerbalDrink Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2014
I dont' know how much I can give any. 
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconbdk25pro:
bdk25pro Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
could you help me write a couple chapters in my book?
Reply
:iconrevscrj:
revscrj Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014   General Artist
Neutral?  Pffft.  Chaotic Neutral with Lawful Good tendencies :shakefist:!
Reply
:iconsapphire-ashesx:
Sapphire-Ashesx Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2014
Hey, happy birthday! :3
Reply
:iconluckery:
Luckery Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2013
Thanks for watching me here too buddy ^3^
Reply
:icondreiks:
Dreiks Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey!

I was wondering if you would like to join an RPG video game development project?

You can take a look at some of the public info here:

Deviantart.com
phoenix--dream.deviantart.com/

Facebook.com
www.facebook.com/phoenixdreamr…

Our current official website
fadedhaven.com

Waiting for your soon reply,
Andris Celms, Producer and Creative Director of Phoenix Dream
Reply
:iconmidday-mew:
Midday-Mew Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013   General Artist
Happy Birthday, Doug! ^^

. /¯birthday cake by Chibivillecute¯:iconicecreamcontainerplz:¯:icongiftplz:¯:icongiftplz:¯:icongiftplz:¯\ .
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